Mind Adventures (NLP): Butterflies Across the Abyss

Day 2 of Neurolinguistic Programming GradDip Part 2, Unit on Advanced Modelling
Thoughts and insights
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Today, I met Penny Tomkins and James Lawley. It is a privelege and an honor to be modelling them for our NLP class.

Back in 1997, a dear friend of mine, Percival Garcia, introduced me to photography. One of his basic tips was to take landscape photos with a blue sky background. I never throught of that before. You see, I never really paid much attention to the effect of light on the subject being photographed.

From there, I started noticing the difference of effects of light on a cloudy day, compared to a cloudless one. I started noticing how colors become richer and warmer during sunrise or sunset. I started paying more attention to the world around me in ways I never did before.

Perci gave me a great gift: the world was never the same again, it was more beautiful than ever.

Penny and James were about to do the same, except this time, it is my internal world would never be the same again.

I raised my hand when Penny and James asked for a volunteer.

“Choose a space where you want to be.” I sat right in the middle, in front of the class.

“Now where do you want us to be?” I asked Penny to sit on the left, James on my right, both within my V-shaped line of vision, just a couple of feet away from me.

“Now where do you want the rest to be?” I was happy for the rest of the class to be sitting anywhere, so long as not in front of me.

“What would you like to have happen?”

I wanted absolute clarity and confidence with a choice I have to make. I am clear on what I want it for, but the choices are like a blur in the abyss.

The abyss is this big black scary gap, between where I am now, and where I want to be.

“What kind of clarity…”

Their series of questions made me explore my inner world. Creativity, passion, vitality, the warmth of being with my family, the feeling of closeness. It’s the kind of closeness like this warm, fluffy cotton-like movement with energy, pink-orange like the glow of sunset.

The energy, the movement is gentle, like butterflies.

In this inner landscape, I experienced an inner column within me made of steel, that melts and dissipates from the ground, evaporates into a cloud, which then creates a cloudy heaviness, muggy and oppressive.

“And then what happens?”

That’s when I feel I couldn’t move – stuck — and can’t see clearly. Eventually, it pours. Then the cycle continues. It goes on, around me, like a circle. I then saw myself get past through that cycle, like a gate, to the edge before the abyss. But there’s this feeling of fear and trepidation of the unknown.

Between where I am and where I want to be is this abyss of unclear choices.

Going back to myself, I discovered there was a tube within the tube of steel. It feels safe and secure and cozy inside the tube. It doesn’t want to let go.

The feeling is almost the same as what’s on the other side of the abyss, where I want to be. But unlike the feeling inside the tube, the other side feels expansive, open. This inner tube is cozy but is a very limited space for my creativity and passion.

Penny and James continued to guide me in exploring my inner world further.

I took out the small tube from within the bigger, steel tube that runs from my throat to my chest. My throat suddenly felt clearer. It felt more fluid within me like there’s no blockage. Things flowed more. The small tube wants to be comfortable and still is when I carried it in my hand.

I knew then I could cross the abyss. I’ve passed this before, a few times. For some reason, I chose to stay where I am. I was scared. I started to feel the butterflies around me, with their gentle movement.

“Would you like to cross…”

I walked across the floor, in the external world where I mapped my inner landscape, the abyssal gap, between where I stood, and across the room where I represented my outcome, my future.

Carrying in my hands the inner tube that felt scared, that won’t let go, it felt safe and secure, to be crossing the abyss. Something is happening and it just feels good. Like a coffee percolating, my inside world feels like it’s integrating what it needs towards my outcome.

The butterflies are all around me as I walk towards my future.

“Is there anything else you need?”

I smiled, “No, there’s nothing else I need to have happen right now.”